In defence of Instafame
A male friend, who I will call by the name of Emanuel recited his adventures in dating via Instagram. Emanuel is a frequent traveler and has been dating women across the world that he meets through Instagram. He is motivated to find a serious relationship, but has been mostly casually dating. He recalled that women follow him on Instagram and like his pictures which he sees as a sign to contact them. Although he enjoys the fact that he can connect with various women across the world, he complained that he feels that many of the women are looking for a particular lifestyle and are “clout chasing”. I had to inquire about clout chasing, I was not familiar with the term, and he explained that clout chasing is an activity in which people try to become popular on social media through projecting their amazing lifestyles as well as partnering with other people who already have an audience to obtain more followers. I asked him why people do it, from his perspective, it is for the reason of becoming famous. In the broader media, it does seem that many people judge the “narcissistic” tendencies in the age of selfies and seeking Instagram fame. It seems that many people are uncomfortable with the idea and cite that unrealistic lifestyle as detrimental in ways I will not go into further here, but I believe that most people are aware of the negative ideas in regards to “instafame”.
Social Media has been linked with anxiety, depression and is frequently blamed for the rising suicide rates in adolescents. The frequent use of screens can rewire the brain and assist in shortening attention spans. There is clearly observed negative impact on emotional well being that is linked with social media that I will not go into within this post as there is a lot of available information over the internet in regards to this issue. I am interested in exploring what potentially triggers people to invest heavily into using social media. What may be some basic human tendencies that drive the heavy use of SM?
- Mate Selection
For a woman to be able to secure a mate that is available to her emotional needs and can potentially serve as reliable mate — her best options are to cast a wide net of interest. The more males are interested in a female, the better chances she has in picking “the one”. Women have the ultimate decision in regards to whom they will produce an offspring. The best chance at finding the most appropriate partner is to have a large pool of mates to select from. Having a pool of admirers also enhances competition amongst the males possibly triggering them to be invest more in the protection of their female of choice and thus committing to the relationship for a longer term.
In the age of social media, Instagram can serve as a foundation for casting that net. Women are able to market their physical attractiveness as well as their lifestyle choices and preferences. With the tools to alter their visual attractiveness such as Photoshop and facetune women can post the most optimally appealing pictures. This topic of Photoshop triggers many people, there are fears about body image issues, faux impressions and diminished self-esteem. Photoshop has been linked with the increased desire in plastic surgery. People try to achieve their photoshopped picture look in real life. In reality women have been enhancing their appearance for thousands of years with makeup, corsets, extreme dieting and a variety of beauty rituals. Today there are simply more tools for beauty enhancement weather through plastic surgery which changes physical dimensions in real life, or through Photoshop which is for superficial visual purposes. The desire to look better is very natural, it is quite obvious and scientifically proven that better looking people appeal more mates, therefore they have a choice of selection. From the stand point of reproductive success it only makes sense to create an optimal visual representation of self, not doing so, and ignoring one’s physical appearance signals the non-desire to produce a successful offspring.
The representation of an attractive lifestyle and visually appealing physical features allows for many people to be able to connect with others not limiting them to their particular city, social circle, thus they are in a better position to choose the mate that is most appropriate for them. This is unprecedented in the history of human development to have the ability to expose oneself to the world. This ability crosses conventional social circles that have been constraining people to develop relationships within their immediate circle.
2. Story Telling
I believe that there is a link between an experience and sharing that experience. The ability to share a story is deeply embedded in the psyche as the desire for someone to bear witness. In therapy for example, one of most valuable things that a therapist can do for the client is to bear witness of their existence. Acknowledge that the person is alive, their emotions and thoughts are very much real, even if they are delusional — they are real to them. The client’s opinions are accepted without judgment and they matter. Bearing witness is the foundation of any successful relationship — marriage, friendship, relationship between parents and children. It’s a natural state to share stories and to obtain a sense of satisfaction from having someone listen to the story.
People generally like telling stories, people frequently enhance their stories to make the event sound even more dramatic and appealing. People do this in subtle and unconscious ways such as slightly altering what was said to create a more intense emotional resonance. The retelling of an event through a story shared with friends fits the event as a narrative of the person’s life. If the told story is positively enhanced when storytelling, the narrative will serve into the creation of more positive schemas of the overall human experience. If the narrative is negative the opposite will happen, the experience will enter into the negative perception with whatever schema the events fits with. Through our narratives, we alter the stories that we tell ourselves and other people. Our memory is flawed and subjective. The mere retelling of an experience already changes our subjective experience of the past event.
Instagram is a modern story tool. Perhaps the act of posting highlights feeds that desire to have others bear witness as well as serve as a digital library for self in regards to the past shared stories. People generally want to feel like their life is positive and enhance their stories favorably to their benefit. Think of men going hunting to come back and tell the stories of bravery on their trip. Instagram is frequently judged for its unrealistic representation on lives, however, it is only natural for people to showcase themselves in positive light whether through story telling or now the picture narrative.
3. Reality
Who wants to live there anyways? Ok, it is detrimental to disassociate, however people do it all the time and there are worst ways of escaping troubles such as using substances. People have a natural tendency to escape into other worlds.
Reading novels, myths, folk tales, and listening to songs. Those are all activities humans participated in for thousands of years. All those activities involve immersing oneself in other people’s imaginary or real worlds. Granted reading a novel teaches a lot about various characters, cultures, interactions and is generally great for the brain. Instagram is not comparable, but it is also a means to escape and voyeur into someone’s life, to maybe imagine what life is like for them. It’s a means of being able to virtually and in imagination to experience the stories and lives other people live. There is nothing new here, people have been doing to through reading in the past.
4. Time suck
We have so much more free time than before. In the age of accessibility we no longer have to spend hours in the kitchen cooking from scratch, doing laundry, grocery shopping and performing many other errands that were practically mandatory before. Remember blockbuster? That was not long ago, watching a movie was not 2 hours, it was more like 3 considering that you had to obtain in and then return it. I can’t even imagine the world of academia without online libraries and google. How much time was spent on finding paper books?
Perhaps, we have yet to adjust to having a lot more free time and are filling it with online activities?
Perhaps we are too hard on Millennials and Gen Z in respect to social media, selfies and self-exposure. Perhaps what we see on social media is a representation of our natural human needs and desires. To be liked, to find love, to be a part of the community, to share a narrative. Things we have been doing for thousands of years and are now transitioning to different mediums.
I am personally a fan of creating social connection in real life versus online. I think it’s awesome that we now have the capability to diversify our connections and meet more people online. I do think that it’s healthy to find people that share your interests, and to identify for yourself specifically what those interests are in order to build a social circle that is responsible and aligns with your overall life goals. I think that generally people are happier when they have a strong social circle even if it’s small rather than a random virtual social group, even if that group is made of thousands of people.
