The Empty Self

Dr. Sofya Vass (Vasilyeva)
8 min readJan 17, 2020
Is The Self Just An Empty Box is a painting by Tanni Koens

I recently read the New York Times article by Nicholas Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn, which reviewed the life of 5 kids born under the last name — Knapp. The kids were born in Yamhill, Oregon, to a working-class family. Their father made a good living installing pipes; they owned their home and were able to purchase quality cars for the kids on their 16th birthday. Out of those five kids, four are now dead, lost to addiction, suicide, and grizzly work accidents. This is not an uncommon fate for the residents of Yamhill. About a quarter of the kids growing up with the Knapp children suffered similar fates. This article struck a feeling of absolute emptiness and hopelessness within me, I thought about all the Americans living in comparable cities. People born to parents who were living the American dream. People whose predictions on life were crumpled by loss of jobs, loss of community and lead to destruction through drugs and alcohol. I remembered the concept of the “empty self” — an idea proposed by Dr. Philip Cushman and realized that this kind of self is likely the reason people are in such despair.

In exploring the psyche of the individual, it is essential to maintain the importance of the influence of social context as well as the environment of the time and place this person was born, raised, and in which he currently functions. The ultimate context for human meaning is the world at large. Meaning about who we are is influenced by the context in which we view it, change the context, change the meaning

Dr. Philip Cushman argues that the current American value system dictates a state which he called the “empty self.” The empty self is a state in which a person needs outside forces in order to build identity, feel connected, whole, and progressive. This state was induced by the post-WWII environment in which advertising and psychotherapy played a big role. The social forces called for a self that is autonomous, capable of changing the self, impressing others, and valuing the self by the accomplishments achieved. This new self-called for radical individualism and was supported by the rising interest and popularity of behavioral therapy. The new self believed in the locust of control. The ability to be able to manipulate one’s own behavior to reap the rewards of a life filled with the praise and recognition for one’s accomplishments, and gain the ability to purchase all the “necessities” needed for a good life. The psyche of the self, the individual, an empty person, is fulfilled by external pleasures. Consumerism skyrocketed, and the self turned to products to be able to fill the empty space within. In this state, Cushman argues, the forces of power more easily control the masses. This form of self is a distant form of being from previous states of self that valued social inclusion, community involvement, sexual suppression, and frugal existence. The former self-called an objective self and rationalism came at the cost of suppression. Supression against sexual impulses, anger, and indulgence; the values held high were — knowledge, reliance on community, and the common good values. The post-WWII philosophy of self calls for ownership, security, competition, the reward for achievement, and sexual indulgence. This new self became more conscientious of projecting appearances to the external world. These appearances had to be maintained with material goods such as homes, cars, clothes, a variety of appliances, makeup, diversity in dress style, and a multitude of accessories. Brands dictated image, and the association with specific brands made it easier for people to recognize tribal associations.

Back to the Knapp children in the New York Times article by Nicholas Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn. Why did the kids of Yamhill suffer such debilitating fates? Typical explanations are historical ones such as loss of good jobs, financial turmoil, and the seduction to ease hardship through drugs and alcohol. Let’s say we wave a magic wand and bring back the ability for consumers to be able to have the equal purchasing power to post WWII era by bringing back high paying jobs and lowering the cost of living. If that occurs, would the situation turn around? Perhaps, maybe if people can continue to purchase bigger homes, faster cars, and more stuff the there would be fewer deaths and addiction. This was showcased by similar communities on the other side of the border in Canada, where the political system called for a different approach, one that valued new job training and sturdy health insurance. Would this create happiness? Perhaps less distress, for the time being, I’m not so sure about happiness. Looking at this family through the psychosocial lens, I believe that the helplessness and the destruction of people in these situations are, in part, associated with the values of the modern-day being. Precisely the condition of the empty self. The longing to fill the self with the goodies the world has to offer in order to feel more whole and less troubled, the goodies that take away the pain temporarily and offer in all their marketing promises a better time in life. The condition that the modern human is influenced by that created the hopelessness and despair in these communities. It is the modern-day value system that we have internalized that induces long-felt grief over the values that were held dear not too long ago. The value system that is built around obtaining more, doing more, having more, being better, showing it all, and judging the character of people who are not able to get there. The values that are also unrealistic and are now attainable for only a small subset of the population.

Any object is only understood in the absence of that object. For example, if I like bananas, it is because I had had them before and additionally enjoyed them. This implicit knowledge is what keeps me adding this fruit to my breakfast on many mornings. If bananas become extinct, I would be sad and would long for a banana; I would wish I had that banana. Had I not had a banana, ever, the extinction of bananas would not have any emotional effect on me whatsoever. Now, I am not an economist, but something from my general understanding of subjective history tells me that the world post-WWII, the world that Americans still long for and grieve, is not a sustainable reality. I do not recall any period in any country in the world where life as experienced in America after WWII was a reality for the people. It was only a short sliver of time in American history that created a staple of what a good life is supposed to be, and this is the staple that is now grieved. Perhaps, however, this staple is not sustainable, perhaps, this was fueled only temporarily by the dark history of America that was built on the back of slaves for hundreds of years prior, perhaps, this was fueled by the emerging techniques of advertisers at the time that influenced people to believe that a shiny car can make you free, and that a face cream can make any woman beautiful and youthful, and that owning the house in the cul de sac will surely showcase one to be the strongest member of the community. What the people in towns such as Yamhill are grieving are the goods that they can no longer consume. This speaks to the empty self, one that depends on the fulfillment of the soul through the consumption of more goodies that are evidently supposed to make one whole. The absence of the means to obtains those goods is the absence of the tools that make one worth living, and the flip side to that is the destruction of self through the use of substances and suicide.

As a representative of the millennial generation, a generation that generally does not purchase large homes and fancy cars, instead frequently opts for living in rented apartments or rooms. I am not blind by the unsustainability of our current existence. The luxuries that are afforded today such as cheap car-sharing services, fast fashion, food delivery services, affordable travel options through the help of online communities, and Airbnb are also in part subsidized by the economic forces that help maintain those companies that offer those services to us in the first place. Venture capitalists fund tech companies — creating a race for growth in which the most funded of all usually wins. The desire and ability to gain as many users as fast as possible comes at the cost of subsidizing the services for the users. And, honestly, thank god, urban millennials would be in trouble if god forbid, they couldn’t afford GrubHub while watching Netflix at home. The luxuries that are available to us today may disappear in the near future due to rising prices. Unless the ability to cheapen labor most likely through the use of more technology will appear. The price we paid for technological innovation and globalization were the dismantling of unions, lax labor laws, perpetuation of psychiatric drugs to sustain the labor force. What we gained were luxuries. We traded homes and cars for fast fashion, Uber, increased travel, and better entertainment. What we consume changed, why we consume remained the same. We consume to fulfill the individual self. Collect the trophies of our travels that we showcase on social media, the comfort of the entertainment that we must consume even when it comes to politics, the ability to navigate emotions through the use of drugs, sexual freedom, freedom from the chains of marriage and family all in an illusion that we have a locus of control which we can use to bend the world to our feet and achieve the life we want.

In my highly idealistic mind, I think that the good life that was dictated to the majority of the Western world through the use of advertisement does not seem to be sustainable en masse. The people that are not capable of achieving the modern standard of a good life are suffering miserable fates. Suicide, anxiety and depression is on the up rise. I believe that the only way to create meaning is to change the context. The context of the value system in society. Sets of values that focus more on the internal world of one’s own being as well as the inner world of other beings. The inner world of beings who are not only homo sapiens but all the living beings on this planet. Increasing the importance of values like kindness, compassion, and community participation will help save the world. I do see traces of those values in the new generation, such valuing people such as Greta Thunberg, who is becoming the face of the young generation. The hope is that there will be more recognition of individuals that inspire healthier values. Solving for more inclusive education and bringing immediate help to people in distress is important, and it is equally important to facilitate healthy values and create a new context through which fuller and richer meaning can be generated in the hearts and souls of the individuals.

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Cushman, P. (1990). Why the self is empty: Toward a historically situated psychology. American psychologist, 45(5), 599.

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