What I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous
Attended an AA meeting with school mates — class assignment. I was intimidated to come, feeling like an imposter, an unwanted voyeur of the fate of people’s misery. Upon entering the meeting, the members were helpful, obtaining extra chairs for our group. Smiles exchanged. Meeting took place in a church, about 100 people in attendance. My nerves quickly calmed, I felt welcome. We took our seats, the session began.
Leader introduced himself, “I am Joe and I am an alcoholic”, the whole room followed with cheers, “Hello Joe”. Joe continued on to talk about the agenda for the session — we were informed that this particular meeting was in honor of celebration of sobriety birthdays, the members were to walk to the podium and tell stories related to their personal recovery.
Following Joe’s intro, the people in the group stood up one by one, announcing their name, the city they reside, followed by — “and I am an alcoholic”, cheers form the members followed each person with powerful echoes of their names. One of the members flew from Oklahoma, he was on his way to Hawaii, made a stop in California to attend the AA meeting, that way, he does not miss a day. I was impressed by his planning.
Amy, a thin, stylish blonde woman in her late 40s — celebrating 8 years sober. Her past, a bartender at a dingy dive, single mom — her parental rights confiscated. Amy barely saw sunlight, she worked at nights until she drank herself to blackout creating adventures on the way to and from work with negative consequences — hospitals, fights, arrests, jail. Amy’s parents fought hard to loop her out of the addictive cycle, all in vain. Amy floored several rock bottoms over the years, she said, she wondered what her real rock bottom was, kept waiting for it to come. Not her kid being taken away, not illness, not jail kept her from drinking. Mandated AA meeting as required by the court led her to find this community and remain sober. Amy initially appeared at the AA after downing a few shots of tequila just to make it through the meeting. There, she found many people struggling. She found a way through the community, her new life, contrast with her past — reunited with her child, working during the day, enjoying yoga and meditation, healthy, happy and productive, Amy states.
Bob, stated — “Everything I will say tonight is because of AA and AA only”. Bob, charismatic, 63 year old with a grand 30 year sobriety birthday celebration. Bob was born to a heroin addicted, prostitute mother in the Bronx, he finished 5 grades and was illiterate until the age of 33. Bob biked form New York to Santa Barbara in his early 30s with the desire to change his life. Bob was heavily into drugs and alcohol through his adolescent years and twenties. The AA community taught Bob to read and write, someone from AA gave the homeless Bob a trailer to live in. The community taught him that it’s important to shower, make the bed in the morning, clean up — basic skills taught to children. In his 30 years with the community, Bob obtained a college degree, job, travelled the world, and had a family and children. Bob made many friends around the world and travelled to many exotic destinations. At one point, Bob went off to India, and biked around the country, he stumbled upon an ice cream truck, tried the ice cream, felt a ping of familiar disgust — asked what’s inside? The salesman confirmed, alcohol, Bob shared his brief recovery story, the salesman broke down crying and told Bob about his family problems that he is dealing with by the ways of drinking alcohol. This is how Bob set up an AA chapter — Rural India. Bob ended, “everything that happened to me is because of AA and I repeat, the AA gave me everything I have”.
Erik, a young man who looked no older than 19. Jet black long hair, style somewhat cross Hawaiian surfer and California skateboarder. Erik chose not to tell the story of his alcoholic past, instead share story of sobriety. Erik feels happy, about a year into sobriety, he recalls skateboarding down a hill and sensing and unfamiliar tingling in his spine; all of a sudden recognizing that this is what happiness feels like! This was a revelation to this young man, that one can be happy, he had not experienced this sensation in the past, but now he knows. Erik is no longer self-destructive, he talked about a constant need to feel an adrenaline rush, taking risks in extreme physical activities, drugs and alcohol. He spent a lot of time in the hospital in the past and had several fractured bones. He was on a constant chase, but no more, Erik discovered something he had not felt prior to sobriety — happiness.
Frail man in his early 50s, Todd, celebrating his one year sobriety came joined with his wife, and his three sons, age 11 to 17. Todd used to drive these boys drunk to school with bottles rolling around his truck and having to close one of his eyes so he can see straight. His wife was powerless in getting him to stop, he recalled the story of how he had met his wife in Mexico, the two quickly fell in love and married within two months. Todd and his family are proud that he was able to maintain his sobriety. At this point, I started crying, looking around the room, there was Todd with his three boys, a couple with a daughter, about the age of nine, a mother and daughter duo — about 20 year age difference between them, a couple — the woman pregnant due any day. I thought about the kids that went through hell with their alcoholic parents — the fighting, senseless stumbling, constant awareness of unpredictable danger, witness to passed out sleeping, the lingering smell of alcohol that never seems to air out, the cold that accompanies that condition — perpetually open windows, trembling arms, drunken eyes. I cried of joy, I was happy that these kids (although previously in unfavorable conditions) got to see the incredible stories of recovery. To know that people go through many challenges, spiritually, physically, mentally yet they are able to recover, to change their life and to say that they are sorry. I was happy that these kids got a second chance form their parents — unfortunately too many children never do.
I looked further around the room, the diversity of the community. There was a couple — gay men sitting in front of me, leather jackets, bald heads, visible tattoos on the neck. There were young women alone, young men, old men, lesbian couple, people with Rolex, women with designer bags, women with worn out shoes, Blacks, Latinos, Asians, White. All fighting whatever pain has led them to this meeting through their windy road of a life they found a glimmer of hope and the endless power of the community.
Common mentions amongst the members — the sensation of tingling in the spine that is accompanied with at least a year of sobriety — to them a sign of happiness. Finding community and support, making friends, learning to mediate, improving parenting. Through this — feeling joy that they have not felt before.
Names, appearance description, and others changed to maintain anonymity of people mentioned.
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